Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
