he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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