i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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