i already hear my dad disowning me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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