Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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