Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
