it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
