The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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