The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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