Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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