the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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