Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
They took my balls.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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