Are we in a gay sports bar?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
