not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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