Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
