Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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