Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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