Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I did not marry a roomba.
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