I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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