The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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