I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
