I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
