Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
