seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
