a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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