i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
