it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
