have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
