So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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