I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
