An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
