Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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(757): View more from Virginia

shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(505): View more from New Mexico

Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?

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(845): View more from New York

My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life

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(727): View more from Florida

Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out

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