Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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