How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
i out mim tonsoeep
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
