I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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