But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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