he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
