Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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