I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
