Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
