I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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