so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
