return my video game
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
