the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
