This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize