Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
