My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
