is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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