Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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