i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
