So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
