If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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