Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
