i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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