sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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