she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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