Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
