OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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