redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
